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I'm sharing this journal entry from one of our sheep / shepherds for your encouragement and invite you to share your stories to keep us connected David
Thursday April 2, 2020: A journal entry:
JESUS WEPT.
A Morning mist of low cloud wrapped soft around the hills.
I read John 6 and tried to ponder on Jesus the living bread. But the mist beckoned and drew me outside, quickly enfolding me in its clammy embrace.
There was no pausing to choose direction. I headed straight up the hill blanketed in the foggy stillness, only birdcall echoing the inner certainty – she’s coming to pray.
Pray up the hill. I haven’t prayed up there for a while. I’ve prayed. But not there on God’s hill, my place of retreat.
At the summit, as cloud drifted and lifted, it was my heart that rained out its anguished plea, the cry for help with COVID19: LORD HEAR OUR PRAYER. Help us Jesus.
That was it. No wordy waffle. I perched on the rim of the damp bench, poised in grief and need; heart, mind and spirit turned to God, “Yet still do I praise you Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Living God.”
A lull then settled over me, like a mute button had been pressed to hush the turmoil of my distressed thoughts and wretched emotions concerning the plight of the world’s people. Wait. Be quiet!
Jesus wept. The words from last Sunday’s reading came to mind loud and clear.
33 When Jesus saw her crying, and the Judaeans who had come with her crying, he was deeply stirred in his spirit, and very troubled. 34 ‘Where have you laid him?’ he asked. ‘Master,’ they said, ‘come and see.’ 35 Jesus burst into tears. (John 11:33-35 NTE)
I too burst into tears, and as I wept, there at the top of the hill, I knew he was weeping with me. Weeping with all the world. Weeping for us all.
Turn to me. And I, turning, vision all awash, could see clearly, he was there. Feed my sheep. To this I shook my head, and thought, I’m no pastor. You are a minister of my word. Therefore, speak my word to others. Speak my word to one another. And suddenly understanding dawned. “You aren’t just saying this to me, are you? It’s your call to all of us: Feed your sheep. The responsibility is ours collectively.” And I pictured the scattered sheep, isolated from one another but belonging together and needing creative new ways of being church and speaking grace and hope to one another and others.
I plunged, then, down the hill, not following the worn paths but winding down the steeper slope, weaving through knee high weeds, around rocky mounds and patches of slippery flattened grass, to emerge at the wider base track.
Now is the time to forge new paths. Jesus is still the Way, the “base track” of my faith remains the same. It’s the network of familiar paths that represent how we have lived out our faith, that have fallen away, not God’s word or his kingdom, or his love.
I am thankful for this love that comes to us where we are: scattered sheep weeping in the mist of uncertainty. I’m thankful that Jesus wept and that his way isn’t set in stone. That he comes and calls us to discover a new and living way, today and tomorrow and the next day. Hallelujah! This is a new day! And the Jesus who weeps with us in our distress will renew us and lead us on beyond COVID19.
JESUS WEPT.
The autumn sun filtered a pale ray through the drifting grey. A reminder that the God who weeps, also sheds light as well as tears.
Quite a bargain
by Jonathan Krause
Click here to download your printable verse to carry with you today.
Then he said, ‘Oh, do not let my lord be angry if I speak just once more’ (Genesis 18:32a).
Read Genesis 18:20–32
I am hopeless at bargaining. When I see a price on a market stall, I am too shy to suggest anything less. For me, it’s easier to walk away having paid more than the item was worth, or what the seller was willing to accept, than to bargain.
So, when I read about Abraham bargaining with God about the fate of the city of Sodom, I am shocked – at several levels.
Now, I am in no way a theological person, so my reflections are those of a blundering human being drawing what I can from what I read. So, please forgive me if I get things wrong.
But this reading stumps me a bit.
First up, part of me thinks the people of Sodom deserve whatever they get. They are ‘wicked’, not only doing all the ‘normal’ sins we associate with Sodom and Gomorrah, but some commentators suggest oppressing the poor and perpetrating injustice as well.
Second, and even stronger, how can a mere human being bargain with/argue with/pester God? Isn’t that utterly disrespectful?
When I think about it a bit more, though, and put myself in the place of the people of Sodom, knowing that just like them I continually fail and fall short of what God wants me to be, I find myself (literally) thanking God that Jesus – just like Abraham did for the people of Sodom – steps in for me, pleads for me, pays with his life for me.
Then I look at Abraham, and at myself, and wonder where my courage is to plead with God. After all, Jesus promises, ‘Ask and you will receive.’
It’s like I’ve shrunk God down to a size I can understand, which leaves me missing out on all the richness that a real relationship with God offers. Yes, I can talk honestly and bluntly and, like Abraham, perhaps even outrageously, to God. I can keep coming back (just like a widow banging on her neighbour’s door for a loaf of bread), just like Gideon.
So, for me, this event is a wake-up call and challenge to be bolder in my conversations with God, unafraid to be persistent, and confident in God’s infinite mercy, love and patience with me.
That’s quite a bargain I’ve received.
Lord, help me to talk with you honestly, openly, persistently and strongly. Strengthen my trust, so I can be blessed with all you offer. Amen.
Jonathan describes himself as a ‘happy husband, proud dad and grandad, ALWS worker and anxious Magpie fan’.
Forgive. Forget. Forever?
by Jonathan Krause
Click here to download your printable verse to carry with you today.
‘Should you not have had mercy on your fellow slave, as I had mercy on you?’ (Matthew 18:33).
Read Matthew 18:21–35
So, this forgiveness thing?
Thinking about verses like today’s reading, I straight away see how much work I need to do to forgive others. Over and over.
And, even harder, to forget and move forward.
Well-meaning friends tell us that forgiving helps free us from the burden of whatever was done against us. Indeed, John Hopkins Medicine states:
Studies have found that the act of forgiveness can reap huge rewards for your health, lowering the risk of heart attack; improving cholesterol levels and sleep; and reducing pain, blood pressure, and levels of anxiety, depression and stress.
I expect all that’s right. But you know what I find even harder than forgiving, and even forgetting? Accepting forgiveness.
Yes, I know that through the sacrifice of Jesus, my sins are forgiven and washed away (Isaiah 1:18) … but surely they can’t be forgotten?
For me, I can’t shake the fear that our Father in Heaven is keeping track of all the times I have let him down, turned away, done wrong. Yes, you and I may be forgiven, but isn’t there always the threat that our ‘forgiven’ sin is still lurking there – ready to be dragged out again and used against us the next time we fail and fall?
That’s where Hebrews 10:17 clubs me over the head and demands I re-read today’s Bible verses in this certainty: ‘I will remember their sins and their lawless deeds no more.’
That’s forever. That’s me set free.
God is not holding the stain of my sin against me. Instead, I’m set free to give that same gift of forgiveness and grace to those who wrong me.
Whether it’s seven times, or seventy-seven times, or seventy times seven times.
What a blessing to have so many chances to model the amazing blessing of God’s love, expressed in forgiveness, to those around me.
Forgive. Forget. Forever.
Lord, thank you for forgiving me, even when I fall over and over again. Thank you for your amazing grace that ‘forgets’ my failings. Forever. Now, help me do the same for those who may fail me, so they can see the light of your love in my life. Amen.
Jonathan describes himself as a ‘happy husband, proud dad and grandad, ALWS worker and proud Magpie fan’.
A Psalm worth singing
by Emma Strelan Werner
Click here to download your printable verse to carry with you today.
The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love (Psalm 103:8).
Read Psalm 103:8–13
Psalm 103 is one of the most highlighted psalms in my Bible.
I come back to it time and time again because of how beautifully it expresses God’s love and mercy. One author goes so far as to proclaim, ‘It is perhaps the most perfect song of pure praise to be found in the Bible.’ I see why. To me, these are the kind of words you could sing over and over and never get tired of because they contain such beautiful truths about God.
In wonderfully poetic imagery, we’re reminded of a God who is both great and mighty, but also personal and loving. A God whose love is bigger than anything we can imagine: ‘As high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him’ (verse 11).
In this same psalm, we are also reminded of God’s intimate, close love – it is like that of a Father who knows all of our weaknesses personally. And in return, we get to know him, too.
What better way to encapsulate both the greatness and goodness of God in just a few verses?
The key theme running through this psalm is God’s great compassion and mercy, which ties in well with the other passages this week, in which we are called to consider the ways we should respond to sin and injustice in our community. We’re now given a chance to reflect on how God acts towards us.
Where we humans struggle to let go of grudges and forgive those who wrong us, our God, who has every right to hold even the ‘small’ things against us, simply says in his endless mercy and grace: ‘It is finished. You are forgiven. Receive all that I offer you in love.’
Heavenly Father, may this psalm be the song of my heart today. May I want to sing it from the car window and whisper it in my bed. May the truths it proclaims go with me into whatever the next week holds. Amen.
Emma works part-time as a content producer at Lutheran Media, where she creates the Messages of Hope radio show and podcast. On her other days, she takes freelance video jobs, filming weddings and all manner of projects that come along. Having gotten married herself in May, she’s enjoying this new season of life with her husband, Tim.