Photo by...Photo by Louise Sacré on Unsplash
I'm sharing this journal entry from one of our sheep / shepherds for your encouragement and invite you to share your stories to keep us connected David
Thursday April 2, 2020: A journal entry:
JESUS WEPT.
A Morning mist of low cloud wrapped soft around the hills.
I read John 6 and tried to ponder on Jesus the living bread. But the mist beckoned and drew me outside, quickly enfolding me in its clammy embrace.
There was no pausing to choose direction. I headed straight up the hill blanketed in the foggy stillness, only birdcall echoing the inner certainty – she’s coming to pray.
Pray up the hill. I haven’t prayed up there for a while. I’ve prayed. But not there on God’s hill, my place of retreat.
At the summit, as cloud drifted and lifted, it was my heart that rained out its anguished plea, the cry for help with COVID19: LORD HEAR OUR PRAYER. Help us Jesus.
That was it. No wordy waffle. I perched on the rim of the damp bench, poised in grief and need; heart, mind and spirit turned to God, “Yet still do I praise you Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Living God.”
A lull then settled over me, like a mute button had been pressed to hush the turmoil of my distressed thoughts and wretched emotions concerning the plight of the world’s people. Wait. Be quiet!
Jesus wept. The words from last Sunday’s reading came to mind loud and clear.
33 When Jesus saw her crying, and the Judaeans who had come with her crying, he was deeply stirred in his spirit, and very troubled. 34 ‘Where have you laid him?’ he asked. ‘Master,’ they said, ‘come and see.’ 35 Jesus burst into tears. (John 11:33-35 NTE)
I too burst into tears, and as I wept, there at the top of the hill, I knew he was weeping with me. Weeping with all the world. Weeping for us all.
Turn to me. And I, turning, vision all awash, could see clearly, he was there. Feed my sheep. To this I shook my head, and thought, I’m no pastor. You are a minister of my word. Therefore, speak my word to others. Speak my word to one another. And suddenly understanding dawned. “You aren’t just saying this to me, are you? It’s your call to all of us: Feed your sheep. The responsibility is ours collectively.” And I pictured the scattered sheep, isolated from one another but belonging together and needing creative new ways of being church and speaking grace and hope to one another and others.
I plunged, then, down the hill, not following the worn paths but winding down the steeper slope, weaving through knee high weeds, around rocky mounds and patches of slippery flattened grass, to emerge at the wider base track.
Now is the time to forge new paths. Jesus is still the Way, the “base track” of my faith remains the same. It’s the network of familiar paths that represent how we have lived out our faith, that have fallen away, not God’s word or his kingdom, or his love.
I am thankful for this love that comes to us where we are: scattered sheep weeping in the mist of uncertainty. I’m thankful that Jesus wept and that his way isn’t set in stone. That he comes and calls us to discover a new and living way, today and tomorrow and the next day. Hallelujah! This is a new day! And the Jesus who weeps with us in our distress will renew us and lead us on beyond COVID19.
JESUS WEPT.
The autumn sun filtered a pale ray through the drifting grey. A reminder that the God who weeps, also sheds light as well as tears.
Eyes to See 40th Day in Lent (Holy Saturday) Read: Luke 24:13-35 “Then their eyes were opened and they recognised him, and he disappeared from their sight. They asked each other, ‘Were not our hearts burning within us while he talked with us on the road and opened the Scriptures to us?’” Luke 24:31-32 (NIV)
I am sure there is such a thing as ‘man eyes’. I looked it up and it is defined as: “a colloquial term for a specific type of inattentiveness, not about male eyesight, but rather for a person unable to find something they are looking for that is in plain sight.” [Reddit] I have heard myself saying when talking to my husband or children who are looking for something, “Are you looking with your man eyes?” I am usually able to find the item that has been searched for quite easily. The disciples saw Jesus die, they saw him taken from the cross and the women saw where Jesus had been buried. They saw all this happen. So, it is only natural that they would say when asked where he was, that he was dead and buried.
Today, we as Christians wait with expectation for the resurrection tomorrow morning. We know the story. But for those who were there, their eyes would tell them that Jesus was dead. He had told them many times, that on the third day he would rise again, but they couldn’t forget what they had seen. Some disciples had left Jerusalem in fear after the crucifixion, thinking that they would be next to die, and were walking to another town called Emmaus. They were talking about what had happened over the last days trying to make sense of it all, when another man came up asking questions. This man listened to their fears and tried to explain what they didn’t see. What they didn’t see, was the hope that what Jesus had said earlier was true.
He revealed some of the mysteries and explained what the eyes cannot see or understand. Finally, Jesus revealed Himself having risen and in bodily form and then He disappeared, but their eyes were opened to the truth. Where are you today? Are you looking at this story with ‘man eyes’? Or have you the eyes to see the risen Saviour? I pray that you can see and experience the love and forgiveness of our loving risen Lord this Easter. May your eyes be opened to see a risen Saviour and the hope He brings.
Prayer: Open my eyes, living Lord Jesus, that I may see and know the love you have for me and all of humankind. Open my heart to others around me to help them understand the hope you bring. Amen.
Eyes to See 40th Day in Lent (Holy Saturday) Read: Luke 24:13-35 “Then their eyes were opened and they recognised him, and he disappeared from their sight. They asked each other, ‘Were not our hearts burning within us while he talked with us on the road and opened the Scriptures to us?’” Luke 24:31-32 (NIV)
I am sure there is such a thing as ‘man eyes’. I looked it up and it is defined as: “a colloquial term for a specific type of inattentiveness, not about male eyesight, but rather for a person unable to find something they are looking for that is in plain sight.” [Reddit] I have heard myself saying when talking to my husband or children who are looking for something, “Are you looking with your man eyes?” I am usually able to find the item that has been searched for quite easily. The disciples saw Jesus die, they saw him taken from the cross and the women saw where Jesus had been buried. They saw all this happen. So, it is only natural that they would say when asked where he was, that he was dead and buried.
Today, we as Christians wait with expectation for the resurrection tomorrow morning. We know the story. But for those who were there, their eyes would tell them that Jesus was dead. He had told them many times, that on the third day he would rise again, but they couldn’t forget what they had seen. Some disciples had left Jerusalem in fear after the crucifixion, thinking that they would be next to die, and were walking to another town called Emmaus. They were talking about what had happened over the last days trying to make sense of it all, when another man came up asking questions. This man listened to their fears and tried to explain what they didn’t see. What they didn’t see, was the hope that what Jesus had said earlier was true.
He revealed some of the mysteries and explained what the eyes cannot see or understand. Finally, Jesus revealed Himself having risen and in bodily form and then He disappeared, but their eyes were opened to the truth. Where are you today? Are you looking at this story with ‘man eyes’? Or have you the eyes to see the risen Saviour? I pray that you can see and experience the love and forgiveness of our loving risen Lord this Easter. May your eyes be opened to see a risen Saviour and the hope He brings.
Prayer: Open my eyes, living Lord Jesus, that I may see and know the love you have for me and all of humankind. Open my heart to others around me to help them understand the hope you bring. Amen.
Suffering 39th Day in Lent (Good Friday) Read: 1 Peter 5:6-11 “And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.” 1 Peter 5:10 (NIV)
It was around the time of COVID that I suffered horrific pain resulting in the removal of my gall bladder. The sharp pains, the cramping and the restlessness of not being able to get comfortable or be rid of the pain led to deep anxiety and fear. If you haven’t been through this, maybe you have had the experiences of intense pain through an accident, joint replacement, or childbirth. Going through such pain can make you stronger, knowing that God is there helping to restore you to bring you back to health and being able to cope. When I think of what I consider pain and suffering, I am in awe of what our Saviour Jesus went through on the cross, which we remember today.
The intense beating and scourging of his flesh, the nailing, the emotional pain of friends leaving, and the sense of abandonment when His Father left Jesus to suffer and die; I know nothing to compare to this! The fact that Jesus went through all this, not because of any wrongdoing on His behalf, but because of all the wrongdoing on our behalf. In this Bible reading in verse 7, Peter tells us to, “Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.” Here we are being reminded that even though we cannot understand this type of suffering, we are to rely on God for strength, because He knows what our suffering is about. Having a Saviour who has experienced deep pain and suffering, can allow us to bring our cares to Him, for He understands.
When sharing personal events and stories with people, we tend to choose someone who understands and will sympathise and empathise with our situation. Support groups for those with illnesses and diseases rely on understanding. God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit are our support group when troubles and suffering occur. You will be understood and listened to. You will be cared for and given support. Our suffering will only be for a little while, we are assured, for God Himself will restore us and make us strong. Place your hope in the support of a loving Saviour.
Prayer: Our loving Saviour, thank you for being prepared to suffer and die for me. You know and understand my pain and suffering, and you care for me. In you I place my hope and love. Amen.